10 Tantric Sex Techniques

Tantra introduces us to the experience of deeper emotions for our partners and for ourselves; it transforms fornication into tantric lovemaking. Also, it's not only about sex but a means or a path to self-realization known as Vama Marga or the Left Hand Path. You will experience the most connected and intimate orgasms (physically) and these will transcend the physical body into the divine.

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The Tantric Practice of Physical Love...

...is an insight into pure consciousness and reality. This in turn creates an energy that expands to unite with your lover. Obviously, if both the participants are practitioners of Tantra, then the energy is multiplied manifold. It would be incorrect to say that an exchange of energy takes place - a more accurate description is that both lovers are caught up in the energy!

 

So much has been said about "deflating the ego" or "destroying the ego": in the orgasm of tantric lovemaking, the ego is indeed completely annihilated. The intensity of the sensation does not allow anything else to be felt! This emotion goes beyond the few seconds of the orgasmic sensation - often into minutes and hours!

 

Tantra converts physical love into something sacred and divine where the ultimate sacred form is the body and the divinity is oneself.

 

Consider for a moment, the many myths and stories about how lovers were so immersed in each other that even God came second to their love. The symbolic worship of the penis (lingam) and the vagina (yoni) is supposed to elevate one's spirituality. However, the modern world - in spite of its liberal ideas - is less open-minded than the ancients. The union of the lingam with the yoni is either viewed literally and reduced in importance or viewed with aversion and therefore dismissed. One has to analyze this and brand it as hypocritical and understand that Tantra Sex is considered sacred sex simply because the sexual ritual is the highest form of worship for humankind.

 

Human Sexuality

The human sexual experience is probably unique because so much of the psyche is involved in the act. Unlike almost all other animals, humans can have sex at any time indicating the pleasure principle of our species. From an evolutionary perspective, "sex for pleasure" became an important strategy and got encoded into our being. Therefore, sex techniques that enhance a couple's sexual practice or enable prolonged orgasm, out to be pursuded without any shame or fear. In this context, the following are some techniques for tantric lovers:

 

Sexual Energy

There are infinite ways to describe this energy - from the sudden increase in your heartbeat on seeing a sexy person (or a beautiful, naked body) to the warm glow that spreads all over you when your lover touches you. For men, one of the most powerful ways to experince this energy is ejaculation control: Tantra teaches men that the highest ecstasy possible is through ejaculation control. When men master this technique, they can move the Kundalini Energy up the spine. This is because the nadis (psychic channels) are cleansed during sex and ejaculation-prevention keeps them stimulated.

 

A man's sensitivity and awareness is exceptionally increased to the subtle pleasures of lovemaking. He enters a broadened state of awareness, which permits him to attain "multiple" and "full-body orgasms." The benefits of "full-body" orgasms are many: they releases him from stress, open his heart, and connect him deeply to his lover and himself. These are also called "dry orgasms" or non-ejaculatory orgasms.

 

Retention of the sperm not only preserves energy but also opens the man to other aspects of lovemaking. He realizes that sex is not only about thrusting and ejaculating. Focus changes to other erogenous zones and to acts that go beyond the mechanical thrusting. Tantra teaches men that the highest form of sexual ecstasy is possible if the entire process of lovemaking is analyzed and understood.

 

When we realize that this process is embedded as an instinct (the sex instinct) and the pleasure principle starts operating even in infancy, then we have to consider this a spiritual practice - one that is intimately and existentially connected to all humans. Going beyond that, it starts with the visual lovemaking with the potential lover, the first tantric kiss, the romance, the physical acts, and finally the enduring idea of eternal climax.

 

Technique 1: The Fantasy

All romantic relationships begin with fantasy. You may or may not realize it but you are seeking someone who is a much better version of you. In the sense that, if you aspire to be someone, then you will fall in love or desire someone who is already there or has more potential to be there.

 

If you will desire someone who has talents that you don't but would love to have. That's why many people who find someone beautiful may not find that person sexy and vice versa. It's quite difficult to find both characteristics within one person. Also, you may settle for sex with a beautiful person but sex with a sexy person is always better. Fantasies, "rosy day dreams," wet dreams... call it what you may, but it is the basis of all romance which is essential for for good sex.

 

Tip: Self-guided meditation wherein you visualize your lover will greatly enhance your fantasies. The visualization must involve objectifying each and every part of the lovers's body, imagining the touch, taste, and smell. Obviously, you have to have experienced these things with your lover to be able to recreate them in your imagination.

 

Technique 2: Breaking the Physical Barrier

This aspect of romance and fantasy are not necessarily in order. Breaking the barrier and fantasy go hand in hand. Women are much better at this because they are much more subtle. If your date touches you on your arm or doesn't mind our hand around his/her wasit, then you know that the first barrier has been broken. Tantra (like all Yoga) states that you must do things slowly but don't be like the idiot from the song Who the F*** is Alice (Smokie):

"Oh, I don't know why she's leaving, or where she's gonna go

I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't want to know

'Cause for twenty four years I've been living next door to Alice

Twenty four years, just waitin' for a chance

To tell her how I'm feeling, maybe get a second glance

Now I've gotta get used to not living next door to Alice

 

Technique 3: Immersing In Each Other's Eyes

Remember gazing into your lover's eyes when you were say 14 or 24? It ought to be no different as you get older. The practice of trataka is highly advisable in preparation for this tantric technique. What makes this technique so special? Answer: This technique is special because it is practiced exclusively for for several minutes and is not a prelude to any actual physical contact. One may practice this in the Yab Yum posture, but should not lead to any foreplay.

 

Technique 4: Tantric Kiss

No big deal here! Simply explore your partner with the tip of your tongue. Thus, it is not only on your partner's lips but on the entire body. Tip: The kechari mudra offers excellent preparation for this act.

 

Technique 5: Tantric Massage

Much has been written about this technique, so I will keep it brief. Any massage is converted to a tantric one if the giver and receiver can identify the "knots" and psychological barriers. What does this mean? Answer: If a partner is shy, feels ticklish, or mentally uncomfortable with a touch at a certain spot or region of the body, then there is some sub-conscious barrier holding him/her back. At times, touching a certain area (not necessarily the erogenous zones) can evoke painful memories or uncomfortable thoughts. Tantra highlights such incidents and indicates that that region needs healing.

 

Technique 6: Erotic Dance

This should be obvious: this is the difference between dancing with an acquaintance and dancing with your lover. If you can feel the music on your body, then erotic dancing makes you feel the music on your lover's body. Don't expect to enjoy this sensation in public! This is a private, intimate, meditative exercise.

 

Technique 7: Tantric Orgasm Control

The famous "ejaculation control"! Men and women control their ejaculation by identifying the stages that lead up to it. It's a gradual buildup from arousal to excitation to the "edge" ("point of no return") to the actual ejaculation (sometimes used interchangeably with squirting).

 

The "edge" is a better word when compared to the phrase "point of no return" because one can still withdraw from the edge. Whichever way you choose to control the ejaculation, it can still lead to an orgasm. While women can enjoy multiple orgasms (because they don't have to worry about maintaining an erection) men too can enjoy multiple orgasms if they control their ejaculation. Therefore, another act needs to be separated in one's mind: ejaculation and orgasm are completely separatethough they often happen at the same time. By recognizing these acts as separate, we can train our body to control them. Tip: Of the many exercises to control the muscles of the genital region, kapalbhati pranayama is the simplest one.

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Technique 8: Synchronized Breathing

There are many pranayama breathing exercises in Tantra Yoga that enable you for this technique. While this technique is quite simple, one must realize one's own breathing before trying to synchronize it with your lover's breath. This synchronicity is not merely with the breath but also with the heartbeat, movement of the chest, or the body (in dance). One intimate form is while kissing (as in mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, but no one is unconsciousness).

 

Technique 9: Yab Yum Meditation

The famous Yab Yum posture is completely meditative. Any meditative sitting posture is fine (the female sits in the male's lap), and it is best practiced at the end of coitus so that the post-coital stage of relaxation extends into synchronized breathing.

 

Technique 10: Tasting Nectar

Kechari mudra is again advised for this act. However, the focus here is on tasting the nectar and not merely stimulating the different erogenous zones. Not surprisingly, diet will play an important role here. Most of our excretion happens through the skin and this also contributes to the taste of the nectar. If you smoke, it is automatically detected in the nectar by your lover when you kiss. But it is also tasted in the nectar that results from oral sex.

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Vampire sex (nothing to do with Tantra) is about tasting blood nectar. For those who indulge in such practices, a vegan diet will go a long way in "flavoring" the nectar!

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Some Tips and Myth Busters

1. Tantric Orgasm: Physically, there is no difference between this and any other orgasm. However, this type of orgasm goes mental space by providing a pleasurable sensation long after the sexual act.

 

2. Intimacy: Tantric sex will build intimacy between lovers but not between sexual partners or those engaged in casual sex. Those in a relationship need to find compatibility and attraction on levels other than the mere physical.

 

3. Sexual Pleasure: In this ancient tradition, sexual pleasure goes beyond the physical act and into the spiritual. In the Vama Marga, partners can becomes gods/goddesses for each other and rituals of coitus become divine rituals. It's in this context that sex is interpreted as sacred sexuality.

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4. Masturbation: Unlike what most people may believe, the tantric practitioner indulges consdierable amount of self-pleasure as a means to understand the process. For example, you will never be able to control ejaculation unless you practice it while masturabating.

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5. Teacher/Guru: A tantric guru can provide amazing insights into this ancient tradition with immense secrets. With the Internet, one is even provided the anonymity and safety of engaging a guru with whom you can share your intimate thoughts without revealing yourself. Cautionary Note: Any guru who claims to be the only one who knows all the secrets is to be avoided because there are no secrets in Tantra.

 

Tantric Sexuality Techniques explores the diversity and complexity of human sexuality – no subject is taboo!

But that does not translate into actually practicing each and every act.

​Clear guidelines and restrictions are available to those with a healthy mind.